Persons

I've noticed this a lot lately, being the profile browser I am. Actually, I sit and usually people will come around that look interesting, or I'd go through my inventory to clean out friend cards of people that are no longer on my list of 'people' to talk to.

One common thing I've always noticed, is this following message.

"There's a real person behind the screen, a person with feelings," blah.. blah.. blah.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't care about the person behind the screen, because I /really/ do, its just the fact of how it appeared there, why they put it there, and how the other people who burn others don't care about shit.

Now, this is from personal experiences.

With my most recent ex, I've realized two things. One, he didn't give a shit of what I thought or how I felt in general, mostly because of how that long relationship turned out. He was a chronic IM fucker, the guys who get ass in IM's while smiling and hugging on their partners. That type of person. If he cared about how I initially felt about it? He wouldn't have done it. Right? Right. Also, the way things, at least I thought, were hoping to go into the real, which didn't. In fact, I realized then that he never had any intentions of doing so, because, he didn't care about the person behind the avatar. He only cared about how I felt about him when the entire 'relationship' ended. That's it.

I'll admit one thing though, that person changed me, whether it be for the better or the worse, but I'm a bit wiser on that front now because of it.

Chicks are like that too. Don't get me wrong. I know a person who uses, uses, uses, and drops off when something else good comes around. They call it change? I call it something else. In the end, do they care about the person behind the avatar? Nope.

Seeing those words bring some sort of false hope, that there -are- people out there who really care, and in truth, there really is. But in that little circle that most hang around in, there's that ONE person who doesn't give a shit about what you do in the real, how you do it, when you do it, whatever. And sometimes, that one person is probably the person whom the other is devoted to.

So yeah, real person behind the avatar? Sorry to say, some people aren't going to give a shit about you even though you post that into your profile. They MAY seem like your friends? But pfeh, watch carefully.

*puts on her hard-hat*

I'm so prepared to get slammed for this post, but I call it like I see it. ^^ Happy SL fun time!

Sinclaire Juliesse

I randomly met this lady tonight through Sakito, and even though I barely know the two, I'm considering them to be my lucky charms. I got three A lucky chairs in a row, for some good gorram hair from Goldie Locks! Anyways, it all happened after she gave me a poem. But this one below is what she wrote herself:


the sun, and his rival moon

do you want me my lover
that i should give you my hand
and we should make love, rival moon
your white skin, soft for fingers
mine, my body, to commit
and you to take, and rekindle

do you want me my lover
that i should give you my hand
and we should minister to faith
but not the faith of ministers
damn the books, put me upon them
enthralled, i learn god that way

do you want me my lover
that i should give you my hand
and trust that passion wanes not
for my heart in you is true
illuminate, smoldering, as i

if, then fallen for, become


Can we say talented? Anyways, I thought it was beautiful. People don't do poem readings anymore in Second Life. Maybe someone should do something about that.

Evolution of a Style Whore

I think the past few days I went on a prim frenzy. I managed to dig through my inventory to find the pieces that I used to wear, not to mention the look that I used to have back.. well, back in /those/ darksiding days. I was such a prim whore. The biggest prim whore that I've ever met.

I used to wear these boots that were like, close to 200 prims, they came from a place called Digital Dragon. If I remember correctly, anyways. And they were some kick ass boots, mind you. One foot WAS literally 190 some odd prims. Then the attachments, because I wore those boots with an outfit I got from Bare Rose, so chances are, including hair, I was probably rocking out with 300 prims at the least.

So this morning I log in, after checking Fred's blog, I saw on his little listy thingy that he's having a 150 sale on hats at Daini Ken.

.....

Shame on you Fred.


Anya went and spent her last monies on a kick ass hat. >.>

Thus, my prim whoring starts, yet again. (Look at the picture above!)

Anyways, anyone who knows me knows that I can't resist a good sale. I'm very, very cheap, and if I do buy something expensive, chances are, It would either be on hair... and.. well hair.

As for the look above, I found that outfit at Bare Rose, and I've been wanting to do that cowgirl look for a while. With the sculpty jacket, and that thing flows NICELY, as well as the shoulders and the collars, I figured.. "You know what, this is a cool ass outfit." I even bought hair yesterday from Deviant Kitties to go well with the look I was trying to recreate and mesh.

The hat was an added bonus. That and my overdrive belt, which I'll never part from, ever.

So all in all, I pretty much have this.. goth cowgirl gun slinger ghetto grunge bitch look.

I think if I were to go in order in listing what styles I had, from noob on up, it would be something like this.

1. Noob.
2. Sorta noob.
3. You're starting to look like cat-woman.
4. Cat woman.
5. Gothic Superhero (I wore a cape, yeah yeah.)
6. Kajira. (I was into Gor, okay?!)
7. Gunslinger.
8. White trash.
9. White cleanly trash.
10. Normal.
11. Somewhat normal, a bit daring.
12. Slut.
13. Sophisticated Slut.
14. Punk.
15. Punk rocker!
16. Goth punk!
17. Goth grunge punk!
18. Goth grunge lolita punk!
19. Fuck you bitch! I got spikes!
20. Emo.
21. Emo, goth, grunge, punk, lolita, hot damn I look good and I got tats!
22. I got tats, and I look good.
23. Damn, I'm just hot.
24. Uber hot!
25. Hello Zombie!
26. goth cowgirl gun slinger ghetto grunge bitch

So yeah, I don't think I evolved that much, but the prim count steadily increases.. talk about being narcisstic.. I'm usually talking about other people and not myself >.>

Inspiration

I recently realized that I actually had a little stint of inspiration come over me. Funny how a conversation with a group of friends could change that.

I'm not saying that they kill all inspiration, but they're pretty much funnier and enjoyable than me spending all day in photoshop. *coughs*

So when I get bouts of inspiration, Imma just stay away from those bastards, and go all emo. And reject a good time. Cuz like, they suck the inspiration out of me.. because it like.. goes into roleplaying.


Betches.

Faith

I think that I'm at that point in this silly little game that were I'm starting to lose faith in a lot of people. Its not that they've done something wrong to me, but it's how they basically treat others.

Let's take for instance, there's this woman I've randomly known through another person. I'm keeping them nameless, just because. And I've actually witness what this one woman said to the other woman, who.. are both adults, in fact, they're older than me.

They had a falling out finally, and the other woman, who shall still.. remain nameless, managed to fill her entire profile with slandering words about HERSELF that the other WOMAN said. It was like a shrine! A complete shrine! Not that I'm the best person in the world, I just had to give her a piece of my mind. Then she put down..

'formless, shapeless like water', yeah I don't get it..

How the fuck can you not get 'formeless, shapeless like water? It.. pretty much says it all. Be formless. Meaning, lacking any form. Shapeless. Meaning, having no shape. Like water. Water has no shape. Its liquid, it constantly moves. You pour water into a cup, it takes the shape of a cup. You put your hand in water, it forms around your hand! Dumb. Ass.

Anyways, she dwindled her profile down over the ages, and I'm ashamed that I'm /that/ bored enough that I still manage to check.

I recently lost a friend, well someone who I had thought was a friend. He apologized and everything, but for a moment there, there was this.. brief flare of anger. I remember thinking, I've been nothing nice to you, and I get treated like this. Maybe it was tempers flaring or what not, but I remember all of this actually starting over an idle comment about a car. Some people just can't let things go. If you hold onto that anger, its who you become. So me being angry about losing that friend? Gone.

There's another friend I'm considering dropping, mostly for my own reasons instead of others. I'm finding that every time they're mentioned I'm becoming annoyed, not because of them period, its because of what I heard of them do. Maybe I should have hung around them more often? I don't know. But they were never this way, and I'm sorry to say, its getting really ugly. I find out that I have to actually look a different way just to be myself, which winds up changing every few months. Which is another key in the notch.

Maybe I'm just an angry person, looking for a reason to get rid of some of the people I know. I don't know, but I know I'm starting to not care anymore, or give a damn what certain people think. Maybe I'm hardening myself to deal with whatever it is just to hang with my folks.

Though, there are a few people that I actually do miss. I miss them with my whole being, and I hope they are well. I don't think I'll ever find anyone like those three ever, and they deserve to be cherished.

Well, I have time..

I have time for one post at least.

I went to the DMV the other day to actually renew my I.D card (yeah yeah, I drive without a liscence, which is being corrected.. eventually)

Anyways, as I sat there for the entire two hours waiting on one little picture, I notice that people actually flock to that certain social group at the DMV just as they do in Second Life.

Like alright, you have this really, really cute couple. They're so sweet on each other, when they talk they barely pay attention to anyone else. Its like, no one else is in the room but them. (They even miss the number being called.)
-I wish I could say that this is in second life as well, when really, it is, but sometimes those couples turn out to be not so cute.

Then there's the group of veterans who pretty much haunt the DMV on a daily basis. They know the ins and outs, and its easy for them to strike up a random conversation with people out of the fly.

Case in point, I happened to sit down next to this old lady, who proceeded to explain to me about the lines and why they go so slow, and what they do behind the glass. While it was highly educational, I preferred to be alone. She was nice though..
-However, in SL.. there are some people like this, who just follow you around and stare at you and talk to you when you wanted to log out in the first place..

Then there's the, get it, get in, get out fast type of people. Their words to each other are as follows. "Yeah." "Uh huh." "Hate this shit." "Fucking number!" However, soon as their number is called, they speed to the window like Flash.
-In Second life? These people are barely seen. I'm in this category myself. You teleport into a sim, and as soon as someone notices you *poof* Gone.

Now, in the DMV, the wrong type of social class you can be in is the sweet hearts. The ones who feel sorry for those doubled over old women, and those men who can't stop shaking because of years of cigarette smoke and hard labor damaged their nerves. Those sweethearts, they aww and coo at the old people, and instead of keeping their number.. they give it up to those old poor decrepid people, with the thoughts that they've done something worthwhile. NOT! ITS A SCAM PEOPLE! I'VE SEEN SWEETHEARTS FOLD FASTER THAN SUPERMAN ON LAUNDRY DAY, AND THOSE OLD PEOPLE BECOME THE FLASH GORDONS OF THE DMV. DO NOT BE FOOLED! THEY'RE OLDER AND WISER THAN YOU! THEY KNOW THE SYSTEM!
-In second life, these type of people can be classified as Veterans, maybe even griefers. Chances are, griefers who are in second life know two languages, and only use their griefer alt to cause shit.
-However.. the sweethearts in second life are the ones who are willing to pay 100k lindens for naked pictures of an avi that looks like Michael Jackson who has a small head. No refunds? :P

Alright, dentist time! Lets hope for drugs!

Finally!

Okay, this has nothing to do with Second Life (tm), but I am glad to say that I am finally going to the dentist.

I may not get my tooth pulled, but goddamn it, I can get some decent medicine to treat the headaches that are caused by it. I think I cracked my tooth when I was eating a fillet (mm, expensive meat), or something or other, I forgot.

It hasn't bothered me in a while, so I figure, why not do other appointments, I can handle my teeth later! So, after a doc's visit.. the pain started to set >.<

You're talking about a serious attitude problem I was sporting. (See post below)

Not to mention, every time I went to sleep, I woke up with the feeling as if I were being kicked in the head and suffocated at the same time.

I hope I get good drugs today ;-;

Lazy Ass

So I slacked big time when it came to this blog, but well, that ain't my fault.

Though I did notice when I was slated with a bit of loneliness, logging into Second Life just didn't do the trick, although I have a new band of complaints to blabber about.


One of the main things I really notice that I am starting to hate is braggarts. Granted, me and said person really have nothing to do with each other, we're just on each others F list. But, when they IM me out of the blue, bragging on themselves about how they've done this, and if I say cool! That means, I really mean it. Its cool. But, that also means that I generally don't care about your success, and I don't want to hear anymore. Especially if I say 'cool' after fifteen minutes of not replying.

Get the hint people.

And when they continue to brag on their partners talents as if I get a flying noodle, well.. I just tend to drown that person out even further and incite words that further assist me in my blowing them off.

"Not bad." "Cool!" "Uh huh." "Sweet!" You know, one or two word sentences that you hope they EVENTUALLY get the clue.

Then, there's the people who think that just because they have everything in the virtual world, they can fuck with the others without reprimand. And I do hope this person is reading, because I'd like to say one thing. You're a jerk.

Nothing turns me off more than someone who likes to use something so menial as a bite that induces orgasm just to get the upper hand in roleplay. Its fun the first time you try it, the second time? ......Bland.

I roleplay a various amount of characters because of that simple reason. I don't want to come off as redundant. I want a new personality every time I do something different. But hey, that's just me.

If I play the same person anywhere, they would be ESSENTIALLY the same person, but with a different viewing of things. Lets take this for instance.

Anya from DS. She was blind. She was a sweet girl with a lot of baggage who gotten herself into a ton of trouble, not to mention, she was a necromancer.

Throw -THAT- same Anya into Dark City, she wouldn't be a necromancer, she would be somewhat of a spiritual guide, a mystic. This time, she would have a bit more knowledge and she would be more careful.

Send that same Anya to Dissonance, she will be ruthless. A shit ton wiser and a little bit more on the dangerous side.

That my friends is what we'd like to call evolution. Evolution in personality, knowledge, and power may or may not follow suit, but if you focus on one thing, that one thing that you carried on to your new roleplay, with nothing else that states that you've changed, then ugh. Bland.

In my opinion, each new place you visit, and you choose to play said character that you've always played, evolution is key. Change in appearance, attitude, knowledge, just overall doing things different THAT time around is what makes a person exciting. Taking the experiences that they've learned over various places they've been to, and now have seen, that is what makes them appealing, especially if they let said influences show.

Anyways, rant off! I'm going to take a nap.

Ouch!

Never put your baby up for sale on Craigslist for ten thousand dollars.

But, if you are going to do it, at least don't put down your own cell phone number as a main contact!


Lawl


Read here

Avatars, bleh!

I decided yesterday that I wanted to try out a new look in Second Life. Nothing to do with clothes because I have a decent sized inventory that's filled up with clothing but.. A new face, a new shape. So I set out to do just that. Maybe its just me in thinking that my face is actually fine, my entire avatar is fine, but a new look wouldn't hurt, maybe I could come up with something better.

Anyways, my problem is that I can't make a face for the life of me. The body I can do just fine, its the face. I tweak and tweak, but nothing seems to work. I don't want to make a carbon copy of myself, I want something different. I went taller, a bit thick in the right places, though while I do realize that if I have to go taller, I wouldn't do well with a small head, which my avatar has right now. So when I make the head bigger, it just starts to look all wonky to my eyes at least.

So, I came to the final conclusion, I'll just keep my avatar shape the way it is and just adjust small things here and there, hell.. or leave it alone entirely. I wish I had that skill that most people have when fixing their avatars, though some people actually wind up looking as if their eyes are popping out of their heads. Too bad I don't have a picture of that guy I've seen the other day, poor bastard had his eye opening set to max and it looked like he was permanently scared.

Getting Laid and Getting Paid: A tribute

Whether you're a new person joining upon Second Life (tm), or an random figure browsing those single words and all accustomed to it, and decided.. 'Hey, let me join this fun game, its free!', you will be introduced to.. *drumrolls*

*and rolling*
*and rolling*

.. SEX. *hushed gasps and whispers*

What? Don't believe me? As soon as you log into that place, get a nice lil' friend to get you situated and looking fashionably trendy, the last place they'll take you to is XCITE. Wanna know what that is? They sell talking snatches and meat rods to spam your screen with supposedly delicious messages on how you feel and how you just had an orgasm because your partner clicked a thousand times. But I digress. Sex. It's there, and there's a lot of it.


Working class women! This is my ode to you!

-Whether you're pencil thin, you just can't seem to get away from all the men who want to smex up your avatar. But no worries, lady, you need to walk like a superstar and the only way you can do that is to lay the next prospective gent who whispers 'Hey Baby' into your IMs!

-You think that just because you have the small hips and the big boobs, everyone wants your pixels. You'd go so far to saying outloud how long you sucked your husbands dick last night, or spent five amazing hours playing hide the XCite cock into various orafices that you couldn't imagine doing in real life! Guys hear you! Guys get turned on! Hey! Get a job of it! They like that stuff!

-You just happened to spruce up your pixels, a Big Mac Meal gone right. You got the swagger and the locks that'll make all the people out there turn their heads and beg on where you got such a slutty avatar. You even photoshopped up your picture so that you can get more clicks and requests for sex, good on you mate! You scored five hundred lindens by writing elaborate descriptions on how you teabagged yourself on a prim peen!

So here's to you, Second Life milk maiding, dick nippled having, prim cock packing and jacking, tentacle loving escort! Keep making that money! Lord knows you couldn't find a better way to support your hair and shoe habit!


fin

Just listen

Complication

"The world simply does not care for the complicated women. The ones who seem too dark, too deep, too vibrant, too opinionated. The ones who are so intriguing that new men fall for them every day. Most, in the end, don't quite have the stomach for that much person."

I'd like to think myself a complicated woman. I'm relatively intelligent, kind, smart, opinionated, and intriguing. Now, bring all of those aspects that are listed in the above quote and slap that person dead in the epicenter of Second Life (tm).

Where the bloody hell does she fit? Let's go through the common lists.

1. Strip Clubs: Knowing her, she'll feel that she's too good to be on stage, shaking her prim ass. But then again, she'll feel that she's the best looking bitch up there and no one else should be tipped but her. This woman spent oodles of hours upon her avatar, days even, months.. and she still hasn't perfected its beauty which makes her a beauty herself ;) She.. does not fit in a strip club.

2. Escorting Services: This woman has the baddest, most tasteful picture out there. She could be fully clothed and still turn heads on an ad. But, no one will purchase her, she will never make money. In fact, even if she did get an offer, she'd decline. No, she won't work as an escort.

She may can do something with herself in Second Life (tm), if she's a DJ or a Host, but that's as far as she goes in that department. She may even be bold enough to create things in Second Life to sell.

The roleplaying scene.

Its sometimes hard to find intelligent, well rounded women in SL Gor. Being that they're either cold blooded killers, or Mistresses who actually RUN and PAID for that city. But, as a player? Noo, you probably won't see her afoot.

But what you will see is those simpering idiots who are probably really fourteen years old anyways, and playing on an adult server. One well known man.. or should I say boy.. was actually caught and issued a statement: 'You probably are playing on the wrong second life. Please submit an age verification..'

Yeah, and those simpering idiots of women probably screwed that guy from high hell and back and now are sitting on their asses and shaking, waiting for the bomb to drop (arresting! Child enticement! Illeeegaaal!)

No, well rounded women are aware of that, that men who are playing as men in Second Life (tm) could possibly have found their dads picture, or a picture of an older brother or a man on the internet to slap within their profiles to make it seem as if they are the 'real deal'. Real women would know that not everything as is it seems.

Adult women would also know how to actually speak. Would you see them typing like a chronic asthmatic? Nope. Would you see them using words like.. 'ppl' 'u' 'ur' 'nao' 'nuu'.. when speaking to someone who could possibly advance their business, name, image? No. Would you see them wearing too big boobs, dick nipples and trolling free sex simulators? Nope. They already know what they want, when they want it, and can possibly get it. Chances are, these women are single, or their mens are already playing second life right at their side OR.. from afar. ;)

Real women are complicated. Real women are beautiful. Good bless the man who finds a real woman who would settle for NOTHING less.

Wow..

This picture is worth a thousand words.

What makes it so bad is, I could have sworn she had one of those tummy talker things. But it said twins.

So maybe the babies were coming out of her boobs.


I dunno man, I just dunno..

Oh my god

So the morning started off well, chores were all done, kids gone to school, I do my daily thing of logging into Second Life for the morning before I hit the streets for my walks. I visit a Sim. One that shant be named to protect the owner of the establishment.. and I talk to him for a bit. He's a pretty nice character, if he had an AO, he'd be walking smex. I should tell him that. So, I jump into character to wander around, test the waters, see what this man had created. And he approaches. And boy, can he write. He was polite, elegant, gracious...

...So this lady teleports in. I think she doesn't belong, and since I was having attachment issues, I politely let her know that she was nude. She said she knew that, and that she was a naturalist. Cool! That rocked, he allowed it on the sim. Who am I to diss someones Second Life (tm) choices? I mean hell, I totally dig the weird and inane, look at the way I dress sometimes? The hair that I wear to the many prims that adorn my avatars body..

So, the roleplay continues, but not for the nudist, she's spamming her ass off. So, a bandit comes by, her breasts were out and she was in silks. Hardly what a bandit wears in my book. Usually, they're dressed and armed, concealed. Not this lady, big uneven tits. Roleplay went down the hill, so I branched myself off, to explore more and see the sights. That's what I came there for yes? But, I guess my mistake was, actually running away from them.

So, I stop at a spot, the bandit flies over and asks if I needed help, I said no, but I needed to go AFK to check my breakfast. Which I did. Yummy noodles!

When I come back, I find this...


[7:08] Nudist: Sweety, that makes you look wierd
[7:08] Bandit: lol
[7:08] Native: Greetings.
[7:08] Bandit: wait shes afking at the moment
[7:09] Bandit: she said shell brb
[7:09] Nudist: ok
[7:09] Native: Bandit, what did you want to show me, hun?
[7:13] Bandit: look how she moves Nudie

So yeah, I'd start off with a joke that says, "There's a Nudist, a Bandit, and a Native.." But this wasn't funny. And yes, the names are protected to prevent flaming, though I shouldn't even give them that.

[7:13] Bandit: we are from gor you tell me man or woman
[7:14] Nudist: can only say she must like it from the rear
[7:14] Bandit: we know the difrence
[7:14] Bandit: lmao
[7:14] Bandit: see Native
[7:14] Bandit: told yea
[7:14] Me: Well, that wasn't nice -.-

Usually I would walk away from the jerks, but I'm sure they would have followed me. But if you don't understand whats going on now, read further.

[7:14] Bandit: well you a man or woman
[7:14] Native: Welcome!
[7:15] Me: Whats the difference?
[7:15] Native: If you do not know, it does not matter either way.
[7:15] Me: No no, I seriously want to know why it would matter..
[7:15] Native: sorry, we mean no disrespect. You are entitled to your privacy.
[7:15] Bandit: just wondering is all
[7:16] Native: Not to us - recently had someone here who hid his gender. Did not turn out well.

At least the Native used proper grammar.

[7:17] Me: So just because my avatar flops all over the place and bends about my gender is in question? >.<
[7:17] Native: Can you go on voice?
[7:17] Nudist: i truly could care less
[7:17] Native: easier to talk that way.
[7:18] Bandit: ok im sorry hun just wondered ok
[7:18] Nudist: i think she's overdressed

So, in other words, they want me to go on voice, probably so that people can find out if I'm really a man or a woman. And if you really have to ask.. you'll be saddened to know that I'm really a genderless loch ness monster. -.-

[7:18] Me: I'm not getting on voice, I don't do voice chat, sorry. And the disrespect was already had when you said I must have liked it up the bum.. that was just rude and wrong.

After which, the Native apologized, and I told them, it was rude and wrong. Very rude and wrong to approach people especially IF the sim in question isn't theirs and it wasn't their right. And so, being the nice person that I am, I walked off. Logged the conversation, and sent it to the sim owner. Yeah, I'm a bitch. He admitted though that they were a bit simple, hopefully they'll learn. But damn, there goes my morning. Just when I thought I ran into all of the idiots of that place, SL (tm) had to go and show me something new.

UPDATE:

Haha, stupid bandit apologized! I'm cracking up!

SL life has gone down the shitter

... Not really!

Well I thought it did, but no.. it didn't. Anyways, I thought about going out into the world tonight, put my shoes on, grabbed my smokes, went outside and came back in. It was raining. So what do I do? Pop right back onto Second Life. The younglings were content and didn't want me to mess wit their toys, so I started to play with my own toy.. the loverly computer!

In today's episode of Second Life, I went to an event at Land of Dissonance, it was pretty fun, I sat and watched my group of friends make fun of each other, I added in my bit of commentary, then went to a second event at Sugar Coma. I realize that wow.. just because someone has a cute avi, and everyone thinks so because they voted for that cute avi, they get at least close to five frickin dollars. That's enough for a big mac at McDonalds. I figure if I make a high paying ammount of cash, I'll go out and spend it on something really cool.. like a big mac.

My figurings are with the amount of people actually going to said clubs, the people that work there that get paid, the hosts, dj's, dancers, possible escorts.. the manager gets a cut. And they do shows from.. Wednesday to Saturday. I wonder if that's enough to pay their land tier, and have a little bit of cash on the side. OR, do they give back to the people who actually participate and have fun.

Who knows?

So far, I think the biggest designers in the game have one up on the club owners, but then again, I actually stumbled into a club that had like, close to 40 people there. Not to mention, I found a live japanese show that had twice as many people as a normal club does. So a person could imagine how much money they made there. Anyways, I can't even begin to figure all of that mess out, so I'll just stick to my little small time business in hopes that I'll get somewhere.

Yay me!

Another real life incident, oh my!

I like to think that I'm a relatively decent person. I'm not the end all and be all of course, and I'm definately not a saint. But for some reason, this event is sticking out in my head more often than others.


So me and my two friends at the time, Christine and David, and my ex Jason were out, just driving around, we decided to go to Denny's to get something to eat. Naturally, I had to pay for it all since I was the only one with a job then, and we had this really cute waiter. He was gay, but.. he was still cute demmit! Anyways, across from us.. well, behind me and across from Christine and David, were a group of college students, probably out after a night of drinking and eating. They paid for their food without actually cashing it in, tip and all. It was a fifty dollar bill.

So they dared me to go get it, and usually I was the 'dare girl', the idiot who would just go out and do something without regard just to impress the people she's around. So I did it. And I put the money in my pocket and refused to give it up. So when the waiter came back to pick up the money, he looked around.. and he freaked. Everytime he said 'Oh my god' and 'someone help', I died a little inside, and I couldn't stand it.

So they wanted to put the extra money down as a tip to make it seem like we're doing him a favor, and knowing Christine and David, they wouldn't have done shit. They would have kept that money and kept walking, and LET me think that they let the man have his earnings. That's the way I felt about it. The man actually kept doing his job though, he kept serving and tried to put on a happy smile, but you could actually see that he was a little messed up because he think people bailed without paying.

I was doing myself in from a serious guilt trip, I couldn't even eat. They kept telling me to give them the money, and I just ignored them and forced whatever food I ate down, acted like I didn't even hear them. I sat there, and I saw him walk past towards the bathrooms, so I got up and said I needed to go. I followed the man right into the mens room, and said..

'Excuse me?'

And he said.. "Yes? You aren't supposed to be in here.."

It was cute, I pulled him into the stall and whispered to him, and I got all quiet because I know my ex followed a few minutes after to see where I was. Anyways, I explained to him what happened, told him what they wanted me to do and how they wanted it done. So I handed him the money over and told him that I am -so- sorry, and I couldn't go through with it. I think I was almost in tears that night. He thanked me constantly, not THAT way you freaks, but holding my hand and bowing and saying.. 'Thank you' every time he saw me, and I felt good.

Christine, David, and my ex were pissed, I know that. They gave me the dirtiest looks that entire night and refused to talk to me when we got in the car. I really didn't care.. I know I did the right thing, it felt right and it felt good.

As I said, I'm not the best person.. I might even wind up in hell eventually, but.. I needed to get that off of my chest. :)

Constellation and Quotes

I found this quote on a web comic site, and I thought it should be up here.

'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.

Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. '


Also, I thought that this was a good read..

Corvus - The Raven

"What matter if I wait only a few days until the fruit ripens?" the raven asked itself. And it waited. When the fruit ripened the raven then stayed several more days eating the fruit until it was all gone. He then filled the cup with fresh spring water but realized that his master would be angry for the long delay. Then he noticed a water-serpent nearby and grasped it in his claws. So with cup in mouth and serpent dangling from his claws, the raven flew up to Heaven. He explained to Apollo that the serpent had attacked him and that is what caused the delay.

Apollo was not taken in by the lie. And he was so angry with the bird that he flung him, cup and serpent out of Heaven. Today we see them together in the sky as Crater- the Cup, and Corvus - the Raven, perched on the serpent's back. This myth gave rise to two alternate manes for Corvus as a constellation: Avis Ficarius, or "the Fig Bird," and Emansor, or "One Who Lingers Too Long." For the Greeks, this story explains why, of all birds, the raven does not carry water to its young.

(I find it simply amazing how people can deduct such things and the mannerisms of nature in the olden times, I suppose that's why I'll willingly say that I'm not comfortable with saying that I'm a certain religion. Everything fascinates me, and encourages me to study more.)

Libra - The Scales

Eventually the stars of Libra came to represent the Golden Chariot of Pluto. The story of Pluto's abduction of Persephone is a widely known Greek myth, perhaps because it has such a strong astronomical association. Hades was a brother of Zeus and of Poseidon; he was usually ignorant of the happenings of the Upperworld, only emerging rarely from his dark kingdom.

It was considered imprudent and dangerous to mention the names of certain gods and goddesses. Thus the Furies, or Cronies, were called Eumenides (Kindly Ones), and Hades was called Pluto (Rich One). His golden chariot was pulled by four jet-black horses. While he used the chariot to periodically visit the Upperworld, in order to seduce a beautiful nymph, he rarely wished the relationship to last. Until he saw Persephone, the daughter of Demeter and Zeus. When he took Persephone back to Tartarus, the deepest part of Hades, the Upperworld would change forever.

Deep beneath the Earth, he owned all its mineral riches, but his favorite possession was a gift from the Cyclopes: a helmet that rendered him invisible. Demeter was the sister of Zeus and Hades, and one of the most important of goddesses as she was responsible for Agriculture, and all growing things. Hades is so enamoured by the beauty of Persephone, he wants her for his own, so takes her by force down to his kingdom, where she becomes the Queen of the Underworld. Demeter mourns for her lost daughter and begs the other gods for help. So Theseus and Peiritheus descend into Hades in search of Persephone, but are unsuccessful. In fact, they are held captive by Hades, and Heracles is sent to rescue them. He can only manage to bring back Theseus; Peiritheus is condemned to remain forever in Hades.

Demeter is so distraught about the loss of her daughter she neglected her godly duties and no seeds sprouted. A vast drought spreads throughout the Upperworld. Zeus becomes vexed, for he is owed a certain tribute, and if the drought continues his tribute will not be forthcoming. Some accounts give Zeus a more noble reason for acting on his sister's behalf: that he empathizes with Demeter and wishes to rectify her loss. In any event, he convinces his brother Hades to give up Persephone, so that the Upperworld can again become green and lush.

Zeus rules that she must forever divide her time between the Upperworld and the Underworld; four months out of the year she must stay with her husband, while the rest of the year she may visit her mother, in the Upperworld. Thus every year the world retreats briefly into a cold and forbidding place, until the 21st of March, when Persephone is allowed to emerge from the Underworld, bringing Spring with her.

The Devil's Back is My Playground

I think there comes a point in time where most people find that there's absolutely nothing to do when sitting at the computer. Sometimes staring at the screen gets to me. I'm by no means tired of living 'la vida loca' on Second Life(tm), but once you know all, you've seen all.. nothing suprises me.

I guess what I'm saying is, that I'm frickin' bored! I sit, I stare, I don't wait for people to log on because chances are when they do, I'll probably not say a damn thing because my mind is else where. I'm not ragging on my friend by all means, but jesus christ. I'm bored!

I can't stress that enough it seems. And since I have absolutely nothing to do today, I may as well wind up taking a nap.

As the title says, the Devil's back is my playground, eventually that'll become true. Soon enough, there'll be something out there to get my ass into trouble that I probably can't get out of, and it all stemmed from me having nothing else better to do with my free time. I'm hoping for one of those days where my free time becomes limited, and I'll have something else to take on as a hobby. Not latch hooking, god.. that'll bring me back to my elementary school years.

I thought of building something pretty neat, but my creative juices are sapped. When my creative juices are sapped, I can't even roleplay, and naturally.. me being who I am, my willingness to go out into the virtual world to meet new people has taken a toll too. I'm comfortable with who I know and who I talk to, don't get me wrong, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I think this is probably why I don't want to meet new people either. I got all that I need.

Now, what I seek is simple tasks, something or someone to awaken that creative side in me so that I could actually write something, build, draw, create.. peddle whatever strikes my fancy. Lately, my days have been reduced to scanning Wiki, or looking up major constellations and learning about science and the stars. (I recently took an 8th grade science test. I actually got 11/12 right. Imagine that!) I thought that I'd find nothing that'll take me away from Youtube, but yeah.. definately wikipedia. Its the pits!

The Devil's Back is my playground, someone kick me off of that ruse and find me a damn muse! Hey! I rhymed!

Health, Faith, and good ol' death

I think this will be my last blog for a while. I popped off of Second Life to just relax and keep track of the kids, they were off their rockers for a while. But since they're calm now, I took the time to read some of the newspaper online.

So, I found this. Read me!


This is something I could never see myself doing, or actually condoning of a family member doing. It's not that I'm not big on faith, christianity.. I understand it all. It's a rather good read, and very informative when it comes to values and the like. I like to study religion, so I possibly won't conform to one.

But this is my choice as an adult. And I have two children that I'm responsible for. Not to mention, I like to stick to my mothers method of raising. She gave us choices. "Do you want to eat the liver?" "Ew no!" "Just try it." So we tried it. Did we like it? Nope! My older sister did, so she ate it and loved it. But, my mom didn't force liver on us. She put the option out there for us to try it, explore, and if we didn't like it (yeah, since one of us actually vomited), no love loss.

We adjusted, continued to try new things, my mother or father never beat us down for not eating what -they- cooked. They were also religious, but to the certain extent of only going to church on the holidays. No, they weren't die hard baptists, but they went to church when they thought it mattered. Being that they both worked full time and barely saw us, they believed the best way to serve the good ol' lord was to be with family. HOWEVER, they left it up to us to decide if we wanted to go to church or not. Even let us try it for a month to see how it fit us.

We went. It didn't fit. End of story. We rather liked staying at home to do silly things with our parents. Finger painting! I miss it!

When it came to our health, they prayed alright. BUT, my mom always said.. "So people need a little push here and there from an outside source, that's God working in his way." I never understood that when I was younger, but goddamned. Never would I pick faith and religion over the health of my children. My mom never did either.

I could be a person who -hates- medicine, and hates hospitals. In fact, I do. I hate it with every fiber of my being. But that does NOT stop me from walking into their begging for help when one of the runts get sick. Never. I even stalked my kids doctor office for months because they ran low on the Chicken Pox shots, and I -hate- needles, can't stand to look at it. But for them? Anything.

Maybe this is my only view when it comes to kids, is to let them try something out. If they don't like it, don't push it. If they don't like religion, don't force it on them. Things such as.. 'Letting god heal by offering prayers', doesn't apply. If your kid is acting nuts, take them to see a specialist. "Are you feverish sweetie? Oh look, you're at 103 degrees. Lets pray."

Fuck. That.

103 degrees, I'd be the first person to call 9-1-1.

Medicine, while I hate it, has its perks. And if all jesus freaks and fanatics rather have 'faith' and 'the help of god' to heal their children and NOT doctors and medicine, they need to be pushed off a ravine to die a rocky death and shat upon. Yes, I said shat.


God speed. -.-

Doctor Who in Second Life (A true horror story)

Today, in the real world, Dr. Who will be showing on the Sci Fi channel until 2pm Central standard! Though its not my preferred shows with David Tennant as the latest incarnation of the Doctor, its still all good. I'm excited! I actually like Rose, but Martha is much better and brilliant. That and she doesn't have big jowls and a mouth like Rose. Talk about big boned in the face. Anyways, so.. as I'm watching my favorite show.. I said to myself..

'Self, wonder if there's an actual Dr. Who roleplay or simulator out there that I could wander and explore!!'

Being the ambitious sim hopper that I am, I actually find one that reads..

'The Doctor Who Experience & Cardiff'

So I'm like.. YAY! Immediately I teleport there. Well, try to. Maybe it was an omen or a sign, I should not go to that sim at this hour. STAY ON YOUR BOAT ANYANKA!

But newp, I'm persistant, I manage to break through the holds that Second Life has on me and teleport into the sim. My radar immediately picks this up..

[6:58] MystiTool HUD 1.0.23: Entering chat range: Timelord ***** (1m), DALEK ***** (18m)


(Last names are protected, just because.)

Immediately, I'm all.. O.O Maybe its an event going on that I don't know about, because I did see many, many green dots on my minimap. So I wait for a moment, go heat up some chicken, dab a little barbeque.. come back and everythings rezzed.

But what I see before me just shook me to the core. NOOBS! OODLES AND OODLES OF NOOBISH DOCTOR WHO FANS! And I felt like I was being crowded, they jumped on my hot little avatar and held her down to the ground while they all did a close up on my direct vision.

Their nooby little hair, their nooby little eyes, their pale ashy and chalked lips..

I screamed!

But, it was all just a dream, they did crowd though. But, I should have known, there would be noobs on a Dr. Who sim. So I walked around, its a pretty decent sci fi base, everything you could possibly want, including the TARDIS.


I was actually anticipating a random noober to roam around in a Dalek suit, chasing after me and screaming.. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Come to think of it, Dalek's are frightening. All that screaming does something to a person later on in life..

But wow, the sim wasn't even done being built and all I could see were the obvious Dr. Who fans roaming around. A person with the name Timelord.. then Darlek.. I was expecting to see The Master or Doctor (insert avi surname here) about.

While I'm on this train of thought.. I might as well go see if the Battlestar Galactica sim is as hilarious as the Doctor Who Experience.

Sinistyle.. My Ode to you!

Here's another rare ode for someone who makes some bad ass clothes. Krius Misfit.

If you do not know that name, delete your second life account right NOW.

Sinistyle, amazing array of clothes and the best pair of jeans your lindens can by. You can get them plain, you can get them ripped, you can get them stained, you can get them paint splattered. If you're a guy, or you're a girl with a penchant of wearing guy clothes, or.. you're just plain weird like me, you'll go there!

He even sells blood! Oodles and oodles of blood that you can wear upon your avi and walk around naked as if it all fit perfectly! Taped fingers, yes.. he has them. Black fingernail paint. Mmhmm, got em. Boots with switchblades, blood stained foot trails.. oh lord.. the Heroes edition trenches!

Peter 5 years gone? I THINK SO!

Hello? Is that a Sylar hat you're wearing? Sweeeet.

The accessories are bad ass, as well as the small collection of eyes he keeps upstairs. Need I mention that april fools prank he pulled? Good humor, good skills with the Photoshop (or PSP if he uses it.), creative intentions, makes bad assery items.

If you have not been to this store, you MUST GO. Check out Sinistyle by Krius Misfit. Have my lindens doll, take them all!

PS: I'm a chronic profile browser, not to mention sim hopper, apparently his SL chick has a store too, and she's got mad skills. >.>

Another real life mention!

This particular mention, I'll keep very short, because I'm having a total wow moment here.

Well, I wanted a taste for something fizzy, and since I keep the soda locked up in the car to do damage control amongst the kids nerves, I go outside to get it. I open the door, push open the screen door, and I keep walking. Typical thing, no big deal right?

Right?

WRONG!

Soon as I hit the bottom step of the front porch I felt a gust of wind, and heard a loud cracking noise.

Goddamned door almost broke! And the wind wouldn't stop!

So I'm fighting the wind, trying to push the door close, I finally do it, and I managed to slam and jam the door right against the hinges. While I'm outside. With that big ass gust of wind.

So naturally, I was like fuck it. Pissed off. I just wanted to get a goddamned soda. So, I go get it, pop the trunk of the car, grabbed the soda, fought to slam the hood shut, good. I walk back up to the jammed door and just stared at it. I mean, the wind didn't feel all that bad, so it wasn't like I was suffering. But the kids were in the house alone.

What does that mean?

They're probably tearing some shit up!!!

Anyways, I muster all of that mommy goodness strength and yank the damn door open. Even though I didn't have to yank that hard, the door was still open and I had gotten through. Bad thing is, I forgot to take the screen door with me and it flung open WIDE, adding the second crack of the door I heard for the night.

Seriously. The wind felt great, but Mother Nature, could you please not fuck up the house? Thank you!

*waits for a tree to fall on her car or roof*


Bitch.

Not my cookie!

This is another post that took me a while to think about, mostly because I was too fixated on having myself a nice hot cup of tea. Instead of diving into Second Life, I'm going to flip it a bit and talk about real life for a second, because.. wow. I'm just amazed.


A lightening bolt actually struck a church in my town!! I guess that means that we're really screwed. To see the article, just click on church.

Anyways, I thought of the irony in that actually happening, because they said that lightening doesn't strike twice in the same spot. But what if it happened to strike the church that was already set fire from the first strike?

*falls over*

And if anyones watching the damned doppler radar, they would see that people in Wisconsin have been clearly fucked over by the weather ever since this year started. I actually wouldn't be suprised if it started snowing next week, next to the rain. It has been refreshing though, I will say that I do happen to like the gloomy weather, not because the sun isn't out and I'm a vampire in real life.. *booga!*

But because of the winds that blow, and the smell of the rain. Ultimate bad assery. To see what else is going on in the state, click > Here <.

Pretty crazy really. I don't think we've had that many tornadoes to date, and I really don't want to find out. Next to the earthquakes in the midwest.. I'm pretty sure we're all going to hell in a hand basket as soon as the artic shelf looses a few more pounds.

Why God, Oh Why..

This is the main thing that irritates me the most about some people when it comes to the internet. It took me a six minute make of my chow mein to actually think on this and just get all pissed off all over again. Its like, people don't understand and KNOW the goddamned definition and the certain law based rules here in America that applies.

The Internet, sometimes called simply "the Net," is a worldwide system of computer networks - a network of networks in which users at any one computer can, if they have permission, get information from any other computer (and sometimes talk directly to users at other computers). It was conceived by the Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA) of the U.S.

Internet of old, how cute!

Today, the Internet is a public, cooperative, and self-sustaining facility accessible to hundreds of millions of people worldwide. Physically, the Internet uses a portion of the total resources of the currently existing public telecommunication networks.

See a very important word? PUBLIC.

Right now, me posting all of this crap, being that it's in my humble opinion, and knowing full well how stupid I may or may not end up looking (*giggles*), its all going to be public. Because I want it that way. The second I hit that 'Publish Post' button, it means that it'll be sent through their lovable servers, and up for viewing within five minutes of me clicking. Public viewing that is.

So, want to sue me because I think you're dumb.., and posting your medical records online, and cry about how people leave you and post pictures of a very, very hideous balding man on your page? *laughs.* Right. Sue. But it'll go nowhere. Lets find out why!!

This little excerpt was pulled from the Internet Privacy Law article..

Internet users sometimes do not realize the amount of privacy that is lost when accessing the online world. Usenet postings and contributions to bulletin boards may remain archived forever. Public records are available free or for a fee. While much of this information has been freely available in the past, the advent of the Internet has made it available more easily and quickly.

See? Remember when Fred said that deleting your blog posts doesn't erase stupidity? Fred didn't hack into your computer, invade your privacy, and wrote all that stuff down.. Nope. He just wrote it, because he saw it, like I'm sure a million of other people have because you chose to make your personal problems and issues public.

He has done nothing to you that would have caused you to lose wages.. though, I do so hope that someone that you work with HAS seen Fred's post, and sadly has seen the stupid replies that you left to let everyone KNOW whom he was talking about. Sweetie, its nothing to feel flattered about. Seriously.

Now before I lose myself in writing a bunch of political and law induced jargon, I'm going to say this.

1. You can't sue because someone called you a flaming, high functioning retard in a blog post.

2. You can't sue because someone refuses to leave a group that THEY made with their lindens. (No copyright clause!)

3. You can't sue over lost lindens! Though, I wish. I'd be rich by now, some of the outfits that I bought back in my pre-fashion days suck! (Eventually, someone will be able to sue, and hopefully the right people.)

4. If you can't handle the truth (i.e. If you vomit on yourself after reading this) Then please, shut off your computer, unplug it, sell it, call your ISP and tell them sorry that you've wasted their time and get your lines clipped. I mean.. really.

5. I just like the number five.. o.o

My Bad Habit

When it comes to that lovable game that we play.. I've noticed that I have a really bad habit.

Teleporting. Sim hopping, its like my own little drug.

I know what the problem is, I just enjoy seeing good builds. The ones that really get my fancy are sims like Land of Dissonance. (Its really a parcel, but a sim in its own right.)

Here's a very, vague description of it. You take prims, you line them up and texture them all neat, but it looks like a piece of shit. And that's a compliment. Maybe its my tomboy side kicking in, but I -love- sims, builds, parcels that look like total crap. Tasteful crap! Just seeing it brings me a slight joy that knows no bounds. I remember when a building was rezzed there and by the gods it was horrid, but I loved it! I'm a dirty girl at heart!

Now, another sim that caught my fancy a long time ago was 1001 Nights. God bless their hearts, and the sim closed, but if there was an arabic style that a person was interested in, THAT was the sim to go to. Lots and lots of sand, and inside the city walls.. wow. It looked like Aladin meets.. something! It was just simply amazing. I took most of my friends there to see the place, a few stayed, more joined, some left over time. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

Another place, Apollo. Its one of the first sims I've been to, and.. it was like a dream. That place IS a dream, although its not as popular and there are many other sims to compete with that one, there's just nothing that compares to Apollo.

What amazes me is the amount of creativity that people have, and the fact that they can actually unleash it so that others can enjoy is magnificent. I suppose that's what keeps me coming back to the game, as well as the people to talk to, the sights to see.

Spameth me Gestures

That title took on a sort of Tickle me Elmo bit. No? Spameth me Gestures. This is the main reason why I hate going to a club scene, or even delving into a fickle group conversation that consists of that one jack ass who can't help but to spam random gestures for no apparent reason.

Repeatedly.

Over and over.

For the next hour.

I know I've had my fun, joining in a little circle jerk of gesturetude, but that's it. Five minutes, ten minutes tops before it starts to get old, and when you keep going.. oh my word. Gesture spamming could be lumped in the same category as a gateway drug. Once you start spamming gestures, wody! You're looking to hit the big times!

Sometimes it breaks my heart just to watch my fellow avatars follow down that route. They do a gesture on accident. People giggle. And then they go through their entire list. It's just the start of the horror!

Finally, they realize that spamming the gestures isn't enough, they decide to make their own gestures that spam the chats too! Anyone seen that malicious 'Hoo' gesture with all the pretty decor? Yes, it gets worse.

Not only do the gestures make those annoying noises, but they spam the chat! What next?! Gestures that go off in Instant Messages too?! But no.. since that's not allowed... yet, and it is a like a gateway drug.. we're talking mass exodus of the prim flinging.

You'll get hit with a chicken, razor blades, anything that's throwable, they'll do it. All because why? They were hooked on gestures! And yes.. I'll say this without cracking a laugh..


Your friends have succumbed to the lowest of the low. They're actually having a cock fight while spamming gestures.


NOT THAT YOU FREAKS! A chicken blaster fight. :)

Anyways, that's all ^^

Bonkkyu Bonetto from Mamesando, my Ode to you!

Dear, sweet Bonkkyu Bonetto, I wish you could speak English so you could read my post outloud, its all for you!


I..
Love..
Your..
Animations.


You are the one person I'll give all my money to, just to see some of those sweet moves played out by my avatar. Sheer brilliance, comedy, beauty and elegance, and all for a very low and affordable price! Bonkkyu Bonetto, you are the person after my heart! (I'm kidding!) Everytime I teleport into Mamesando I'm filled with a certain joy, because I know you have those sweet animations that scream.. "BUY ME ANYANKA!"

Yes, I'm a fan. No, I'm not obsessed, yes.. you can have my lindens.

I'm sure this blog isn't famous and all of that just yet, but if you ever come across Bonkkyu Bonetto, and you can speak Japanese, tell Bonky babe that I love them! And to make more spiffy animations! Hell, tell her to expand the entire Black Knight franchise too >.>

Also, if you can, check out Mamesando, Bonkkyu put a bad ass movie up about her items. Full hero avatars, shapes, skins, hair, AO! Zomg.. so worth the price!

Hello? Background checks!

This is the thing that gets me everytime. Why do they allow people who have no sense of good judgement and mental stability to run and own sims. Half of the decent people that I've known actually left this supposedly quality game called Second Life due to the fact that the owners of the sim they constantly frequent were total dickheads, assholes, jerk offs, 'I-Am-Your-God' type personalities?

Sure, everyone has their dreams and hopes of running a simulator, creating it based off of their fantasies and things that can't possibly done now. People use their imaginations, creating worlds that are just too beautiful and knowing it wouldn't be destroyed by a bomb or something equivalent. Faerie land, heaven and hell, you name it, you could probably find it on second life in ten minutes.

It would be so cool though, you put your name on the list.. you want to buy a sim and build something that would put money into your pockets. How come Linden Labs won't say..

"Hello Missus Supreme, we're currently doing a background check to see if you qualify in having a sim. We'll check your school records, and delve deep down into your social life in Second Life and real life to see if you're actually mentally stable enough and capable of running and owning a simulated enviroment."

Some good quality places have gone down the drain because their owners were too stupid, or even lacked the basic people skills to properly run a sim or even create a lucrative business. I know, if I'd have to support your simulator on my server that eventually I'd have to pay money for, I'd want to know if you could even hack it. Financially and mentally.

Thing is, with a huge bustling business that Second Life has going, the number of paying members, the number of members actually putting their hard earned (or easily earned for the rich, wealthy, and lazy), they could care less who owns a sim and runs it unless it jeopardizes THEIR hides.

I remember when I first started second life, I joined up with a strip club, which consisted of me actually sitting on a pole, dancing, making money.. and chatting my life away with the visitors. The owner of the club put everyone on staff on the fact that there's a simulator out there based and heavy into ageplay.

Oh.. wow. The fuss we all put up actually made it so that Linden Labs cracked down ageplay within second life in general, lumping it in the same frame and crime that 'Child Pornography' is lumped in. And then the incident with the German people who actually were prosecuted FOR using child avatars to actually sex in second life... Yeah, need I say more?

Background checks, personality checks, if there's even a slightest hint of that person having a slight disorder of the brain.. yeah. You don't DESERVE A SIM. Sure, I'll probably feel like a complete dick and a jerk after I've published this post but, who the hell hasn't thought that?

"The owner of Somesimname here is a complete dickwad, I think he's got mental issues, that fuckface doesn't need to run a sim."


See? Background checks! Personality checks! Oh yeah, whores don't need sims either. Can we say smut fest?

I met a real life dom...

..in Second Life. Actually, I can and will say that I've met only TWO, real life dominants that I'll willingly admit that they are. Not those that have that.. RL DOM GOR SL DOM GOR blah blah crap in their profile. No, these people are low key, and even though they are low key they are damned proud of being a dominant.


You can easily tell that this person has a very domineering personality when you find it very hard to hold a conversation with them. Well, in my regards. And when you finally break that bubble of uneasiness, it does -not- get easier. However, you tough it through because that person gives /damn/ good advice. A real life dominant who plays second life doesn't play second life just to get his rocks off. No, he's there to have a good time, explore.. hell, roleplay even.

I met this particular real life dominant in the lovely city of Toxia. This was close to a year ago. And this man, could write. He played the typical bad ass brute lycan who had a foul mouth and a sunny disposition on all things bad. He'd light up a damn cigarette and make a nasty habit look so damn tempting to do. However.. you never, hardly ever see him chasing skirts. The skirts chased him. He kept them wanting and waiting and didn't even -bother- to recognize how much they were in heat for his massive man pixels. *fans herself* For some reason, I made the mistake of actually provoking this man, and the fact that I stood up TO him instead of laying down like a dog spoke volumes.

In turn, he wanted me to be his daughter in the lycan civilization. Hell yeah! That's when the flood gates opened. He actually said he was a real life dominant. Me? I said no way. Him? He said yes way. So, he told stories. I listened, and still was skeptical. But what I didn't do, is watch. When I finally did, then I saw. The man had morals, he didn't chase skirts as I said, he ran that pack the way lycan packs are supposed to be ran. He was cruel, he was harsh, and if someone had a chip on their shoulder, he helped them get it off. He listened, he was kind, but never.. ever.. talk down or bad about him, you'd regret it. I'm not saying that's how a real life dominant is supposed to be, but.. I met one! Yay!

Is it just me? That I could pick out the real life dominants just by how well they listen and give advice, how they want you to get it off your chest even if it means breaking their balls in the process? The second dominant person I met was just like that. If you needed to vent he would unwittingly get you to without even forcing it. I won't even go into any more details for the fear of me actually spilling out their names. But, they were the real deal.. and certainly.. their partners weren't getting dominated by those fifteen year old Gor heads. Jesus, I should write something about them next. Kinda makes you hate Second Life.. if you think about it.. >.>

Drama, Second Life.. damn.. they're married.

Someone had to make a post about it, right? Though it seems from what I'm reading from my lovelies blogs, they're already at a head start. However.. I'm going to take a different route and speak about it in its entirety.

I saw in someones profile a long time ago that.. 'He who barks the loudest, are usually the architects.' Meaning, if you state cleanly that if you don't want drama, you don't want drama, I DON'T WANT DRAMA.. and you turn around and start it... o.o *coughs*

Second Life and Drama are two unavoidable things. You can say how much you don't want it, how much you don't cause it, but then again.. there you are.. doing your thing.

"I'm better than you. I'm stronger, I'm faster.. I'm the Master. I'm your God, I'm your everything, bow down before me as I use you for what I wish, and then.. I will tear your throat out and discard you, you are no use to me."

Remind you of someone? It doesn't even have to be that particular person that is the apple of peoples eyes lately. Its this place in its entirety. The dangerous game of drawing the line between what is drama and what's not, what causes it and what does not, and who incites it and who doesn't.

I caused my fair share of drama, I know that for a fact. No ones immune to it, no ones impenetrable. But when you state things out in the open that can spread like wildfire? You, my friend, are a Drama King/Queen. When someone asks you a question that was meant to stay private, but you couldn't help yourself, you run off and tell Tom, Dick, Harry.. especially if you didn't know that Harry would go back and slap you in the face.. You just started drama. Even -if- you are the victim.

When it comes to roleplay sims, and this is the one thing that people fail to realize. You can say that you can do what you want, you can actually -DO- what you want, treat people how you want because you're fucking billy bad ass with your ham and cheese sammich, popping your gum and switchin' your hips. But.. you're under the microscope. People watch, people learn, people -will- talk. Everything ill about places spread life wildfire and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Why? Because its drama. You can't defeat it. It's just damn impossible.

Where ever you go there's going to be someone who doesn't like you. Even if you happen to 'pop right into' a sim and walk past, someones bound to just say.. 'Look at this bitch.' Drama. Its what you do with yourself and how you handle that.. Impress me. Impress me. MOVE me. Make me believe that you are the best thing in the world..

Drama. Whether people like it or not, it makes the sims go 'round.

Within two months, a total of six sims had fell prey to the drama. All that money wasted. *shakes her head*

Drama. Its what's for dinner.

The Second Life Whore

I've been visiting Second Life since 2006, of course.. and I've managed to get around quite a bit. Not that sort of getting around but, in a social aspect. I've met homosexuals, transexuals, bigots and assholes. Bitches and guys who pretended to be bitches (and did a good job of it too!), and that sweet person all around.

But more importantly, what makes the population of Second Life as we know it, is the Second Life Whore. Here's my ode to you, sluts! And as a disclaimer, I'm writing this for fun, and its an observation. Take offense to this and you're my bud, then wow.. good on you.

How can you recognize a Second Life Whore from any of the other residents? Easy! If you've managed to befriend a very, very hot guy friend.. they'll tell you right off the back of what the 'whore' is saying to them in IM's. Mind you, this whore is very, very open with her sexuality, and isn't afraid to flaunt it.

"You're so hot, I could just masturbate to your pixels!" Yes, one Second Life Whore actually said that to someone. And it doesn't stop there.

"I just spent four hours 'thanking' someone for..." Yeah, out loud mind you. Tasteless.

"You are so hot! (Insert sexually explicit things that even make ME uncomfortable, and I'M AN OPEN PERSON!)"

Yes, that is your Second Life Whore. Every subject revolves around sex, god forbid they have something to actually talk about. When they do, its only one line.

"Great weather today." Then... "Want to fuck?"

Good on you Second Life Whore!

Now, there are some Whores who actually are the closeted dainty type. The person that has a million guys or girls underneath their sleeves and you've managed to lose track of who is who and what is what. You just tend to smile and nod when they're fawning over that person, right? I mean come on, if Second Life was actually First Life, this person would be in ICU right now suffering the draw back of herpes, that's how much of a whore they are. (But, you wouldn't know about it, since they're the closet type!)

Then here's the good ol' whore, the one who you actually can't bring around your friends. Why, you ask? Because they have that quiet tendancy to fuck them when you're not looking. People wonder why relationships deteriorate, because.. well.. STOP SCREWING ALL OF MY FRIENDS!

And then.. what almost all roleplay in Second Life is based on, the Gor Whore. You ever just have that man friend who's so immersed in Gor, he calls everyone brother? Or, they have those deep tan avatars with leather slacks and a bow strapped to their backs? You take them out of that enviroment, what do they see? Playground with lots and lots of Urth girls to take back to Gor! Yes, the Gor Whore who tries to collar all of your friends. The Gor Whore who manages to steal you away in private messages to wear their collar with the other mindless freaks who'll eventually be discarded or grow bored once he manages to wet his pixeled dick once or twice.

And last but not least.. the Instant Message Whore! This is the lowest of the low, not only are they closeted, but they could possibly be whoring themselves out to two different people while they're whoring themselves out to you. The Instant Message Whore in Second Life is easily comparible to one of those cheap and dirty prostitutes who wear cum stained skirts with the actual needle in their arms. Ripped stockings and all.

Yeah, those gosh darn whores! Makes Second Life fun!

Creating Eyes in Photoshop for Second Life

Saw this on another site, but its gone now. So, here goes, enjoy!

1. Open a new document 256/256 pixels, 72.. leave that alone

2. Double click on the background layer, so that it wouldn't be locked. That would be the white eyeball layer. Make sure that is the top most layer.

3. Create a new layer. That would be your eyeball color. On that same color, choose two different colors to make a strip across the top and bottom. Say for instance, you had a light blue, you would use a dark blue strip or a white strip. Or if you want to do something funky, you could use a grey or a yellow, in the end, it'll mesh up and you probably won't see it.

4. Now, you go to your filters > Noise > Add noise. your settings should be 15/Gaussian/monocromic

5. Then Filter > Blur > Motion Blur. The settings should be 90/700 pixels. You should have lines that go straight up and down.

6. Now go to Filter > Distort > Polar Coordinates. Make sure its rectangular to polar, or else it won't look right. >.>

7. Now since you got that out of the way, go back to your white layer. You can use your ruler to drag down onto the picture, make sure that the lines snap to the middle so that you have a point to put your pupil.. (That little black thing in the middle of the eyes, yuh, I failed anatomy.) Now, once you've done that, go to your Elipictical Marquee tool. Make sure that you don't do a huge circle, or else you'll wind up with an alien eye. Nasty! Or not, depending on your mood >.> Once you've got your right circle, hit control X to delete the white space. Then you have the startings of your eyebawls.

8. On that same white layer, use your brush to draw veins. If you're good, you can use lightening tendrils, but I'm too lazy to fish my brushes so I just draw it. Make sure that the brush is set to pink, then draw the lines. (Brush size would have to be small, I use 7 so the veins could stand out.) Once you're done drawing, go to Filter > Blur> Gaussian Blur. The number on that is shady, so just blur it until it looks comfortable.

9. Now, create a new layer. Hold down the alt key to do that, and click on the new layer icon. An option will pop. Make sure that you choose overlay, and that the background is filled with the neutral color grey. By now, the layers should be in this order. White Background/Grey filled background/Eyeball color.

10. Make sure that ALL of the layers are visible, but make sure that you have the grey layer highllighted. You'll be working on that for a bit. Your dodge tool should be set to highlights/20%, your burn tool to shadow/20%. I use any density, because it doesn't matter really at the end. Begin shading, start at the middle or and go outwards towards the eye. Its best to use highlights first, because the shadows would only enhance the COLOR OF THE EYE. Use at your discretion also.

11. Now once that is done, you can make your pupil. That goes without saying. just make a black circle in the middle of the eye and your done.

12. For the outline, you just make a new layer. Say that your eye is the basic blue, you could either use blue or black to define it. I choose to use black since it stands out more. On that layer, just draw a circle, MAKE SURE ALL LAYERS ARE SELECTED WHEN YOU DO THIS. Because when you do, you can see how the outline is going. It doesn't have to be perfect either. Then you go to filter > Blur > Gaussian blur to blend the black/blue which ever color you chose to use into the eye itself.

(What wasn't on the site)

*Tips and tricks*

You can use a ton of brushes to add on to the eye, but if you want to add some color around the pupil, this is what I did.

I made a new layer which would settle in the middle of the layers.. don't matter where its placed, as long as it stays IN THE MIDDLE.

I picked a color that would look decent along with the blue, or if you want to go wacky, do yellow or green. I drew a circle around the iris, it doesn't matter, and I used the blur and the smudge tool to show speckles. I blurred it first, it didn't matter which setting, as long as it looked as if it were spread. Then I smudged the colors outward towards the ending of the eye itself. (Towards the white.)

Also, if you don't want to do that, its best to use reflections to give the eye a bit of character. All you need is a decent sized brush (I used calligraphy brushes, or just the basic circle brush.) And drew them in. Just make a half C, or make a jelly bean shape. Small little arcs here and there. When I do this, I make a new layer so that I wouldn't mess up the eye itself. Everything that you want to try, you use a new layer, so that you could easily delete it without damaging the half-finished product.

Hey! Thats my hair!!

This probably would be part deux to my hair post. I love prim hair in Second Life. I don't know why, I just do. Some might call it obsession, I call it.. yeah, its an obsession. But this is just basically a reprisal and basic questions to ask yourself when buying hair.


1. Do I want to spend that much money?

2. Is the hair a piece of prim-goodle shit?

3. Is it really worth it?

4. Man, should I get this hair.. or get shooz.

5. Would this hair make me look like a hack at a certain angle?

6. Is this.. too gay? (No offense, I love gay people, but sometimes, LOOKING too gay is just wrong.)

7. Is this hair, while big, proportional to my body? (Yeah, there's a guy I know, who's thick, a bit stalky, yet his hair is too big for his body.)

8. Is the hair timeless? (One of the majorly important ones. Can you wait six months to a year and still wear the same hair and look fashionably good?)

9. Can the hair go with any style, time, or day you choose? (Hey, if you're punk, get punk hair. If you're glam, get glam hair. If you can do both, get them both, and if you got balls.. rock out with your cock out.)

10. Does it come in a DEMO!

Remember, demo.. demo.. demo. Jesus lord almighty try on a fuck'n demo before you put on that prim hair! And if you can, bring a friend who'd give you opinions. A friend who's honest and who isn't afraid to tell you that you look like a total douche bag. Happy hair hunting!

Hair in Second Life

I was going to write a How-to guide on hair, but well.. I'm not that skilled in creating such yet. I just broke into the photoshop mold, and while I'm not the greatest, I think I'm doing alright. I'm just waiting for that inspiration to kick. However.. since I love hair, and I'm currently rocking at least 100+ hairstyles in my inventory, I thought I'd write this /how to/ guide on hair buying and styling.


I've seen many, many mistakes made by people and hell, I've made a few too. In fact, I made one just yesterday. While going to a store with my two second life husbands, it was a hair store.. and that said hair store had their prices marked down from 12 - 12. Just for that day. So I figure, if I see something I like, I'll buy it and take my ass to bed. I did, I really did find something I liked, and I bought it. Which actually put a horrible cramp in my linden stash. (I save whatever I make for piddling my items for more uploads from Photoshop, that stuff adds up.) However, I made one mistake.


*I DID NOT PUT ON A DEMO! (Damn it, my upload money is gone now!)

I put the hair on after I bought it and had a damn fit. It was horrid! I mean, it looked good in the picture but why not me!?

Silly bint! Even though the hair looks damn good on someone else, and even the picture, doesn't mean it'll look good on you. Now, you could spend extra money and time buying a skin and making a shape that'll fit the hair that you just bought, but.. why do that? Costs too goddamned much. But I digress.

If you want to buy hair, you have to have these things in mind.

1. Does it go with the contours of your face?

a. You don't want hair that'll make your face look too obscene. At certain angles, your avatar has that feral grandma look, sometimes hair could make that even more horrid.

2. Does it go with the style of your avatar?

a. If you're a punker, how would it seem if you were hair that was of the pure elegance? I know when I'm wearing my 'dirt', I don't want to have beautiful, luxurious hair. My favorite pick would be the Jackal hair from Deviant Kitties, minus the cage. If you want to be a ragamuffin, you gotta add in the hair too.

b. Now if you're going for sheer excellence, you don't want any hair that would have a ton of color, but.. if you're tactful and the hair has a lot of taste and glam along with the colors, you can possibly get away with it.

c. If you just want to have that regular 'pair of jeans and a t-shirt' look that I have, get.. regular hair. I know, I know, there's a ton of regular hair out there, just find one that goes along with the second step.

3. Is it something you'd wear again?

a. That is the most important thing. If you buy hair, would you wear it again because you like it that much? I know I have 100+ hairs in my inventory, but I cycle through constantly, picking hair that would go well with my skin, eyes, and clothing that I'm wearing for that moment.

4. Is it cheap!?

a. Yes, there is a such thing as cheap hair. I remember I used to spend 500$L a pop for decent looking hair that flows and had a certain curl, but then I was introduced to Deviant Kitties, Gritty Kitty, ETD etc. The cheapest of all hair came from Kin Keiko, and by gods.. 100L$ is something I could afford.

b. Does the cheap hair look good? With all the steps above, that's the /main/ thing you have to consider. Does it look good enough for YOU. Does it go well with what YOU want to wear. Does it shape, mold, fit, and just look awesomely bad ass?


For now at least, I'm out of hair buying tips. Make sure you go for the cheap hair. The cheap hair actually does look damn good, I'll come up with a list later on. Ta ta for now!

I've seen it all

I remember when I first joined Second Life. I was a shotty nobody who looked like a bunch of pixelated crap. I mean, I was horrible. Bad shape, the infamous noob hobble, and I had the nerve to follow someone who I considered my good friend at the time into Gor. Bad. Move.

It didn't take me long to figure out how to actually work my way around Second Life. I started that glorious thing I call 'Sim Hopping', and from there, I actually learned how to make my avatar look somewhat appealing. And when I did.. Anyanka was born.

Sounds great right? Sort of. When Anyanka was born, what did I do? Dance away on dance pads so I could buy the latest trends, jump around.. say hello to a few people, ask them random questions, the usual how-to and random explanations. And.. to be quite honest, I think I turned out really well.

Reading someones blog made me reflect on this. There's an ugly side to a game that we're all supposed to enjoy. A very ugly and hideous side that I wished that I was ignorant to. Eventually, you start to notice a few things about people. Random conversations that you happen to teleport in on.

This is about no one in particular, just a meaningless generalization. I remember I went shopping with a friend. (Hair shopping, got to love it.) And it was a few weeks ago. Two female avatars were off in the corner, and it seemed like they were there for a long time. They were immersed in a very deep seated conversation of the Second Life kind. Billy dated Sally. Sally loved Billy. Billy didn't love Sally because Billy was cybering Sally's sister. Sally found out. Broke up with Billy. Now Billy and Sally's sister own a nice little parcel of land and they couldn't be happier. However, Sally isn't happy. Sally makes alts and plots revenge. Sally eventually gets banned from Second Life, but somehow.. she manages to come back! Le'gasp! Sally under her new alias, manages to set Billy up by lying and telling Linden Labs that he's actually a minor playing on an adult game! Billy can't offer proof to redeem himself, and Billy gets banned.

Billy comes back under new persona and is back with Sally's sister, but then again, we all know Billy, he's sleeping with Sally's sisters sister. Oh no! Billy moves on with the third incarnation of said sister and next thing you know, its really Sally all along under the new alias!

I could go on and on here..

Seriously, that was pretty much the gist of the conversation. And my IM's to my friend were..

"You gotta be fucking kidding me.."

But it doesn't hit me until then, that.. wow. There are more and more people out there just like those clusterfucks who were out there gossiping in the store.

But then, I've had my fair share of hang ups. Liars, the whole lot of them, and I know how to pick them out well. I like to believe that people are always at their best, sure.. they have their faults. But man oh man, was I wrong. And.. when I'm actually wrong, I do the adult thing. I dismiss myself from their presence, I try not to talk to said person -unless- there's a spot of information I need to know.

"Hey Dood, where did you get those shooz from? I kinda forgot."

Then I get my answer. That's the extent of it all. But, you have that certain someone that just brings it right back up like a hideous blast from the past. Jerry Curl style. And then you have to deal with the ruckus and step -backwards- again.

At some point of your Second Life, you'll eventually meet up with that cronic abuser that people love to hate, and love to love. Surely, he's telling you sweet nothings in your ear, but behind your back he's a brutal, cold bastard who's probably that little fifty year old fat guy who tears down people who've done well for themselves so that he/she/it (which ever avatar it has) could feel like the top dog.

I sit back and I watch, and watch, and watch, and I stay just underneath the radar. My sister always told me that sometimes, that's all you need to do. Just watch. And you'll have your answers. Don't touch, don't get involved, don't speak.. just watch. You'll learn more.

My 5am post

Alright, so.. I blame Neit Tackleberry for this. I was actually thinking of doing this for a while, but then again, she brought it up.. twice.. mind you, and I decided, what the hell. I might as well go ahead and post.

I've known Neit Tackleberry for close to a year now, and its obvious that the name that I give you is -not- her real name. We met on a game called Second Life. She goes by the name of Neit, I go by the name of Anyanka B. Last name will stay hidden for obvious reasons. (I'm lazy.)

I actually forgotten how we've actually started talking, though I'm sure that once I lay my head down upon the pillows this morning, it'll come to me like a flash flood in June. Right now, X-Files is just going off on the tv, and soon Angel will rear his pretty little head to fight the good fight of.. whatever.

I'm thinking of the purposes of this blog at the moment, to post random commentary or possibly a tutorial of my own doing, or maybe.. to rant and crap on about various television shows that I like. If I could, I'd section this thing out into a few categories; Rants, Instructional, Informational, Opinio.. wait, let me stop here. I'll just title it all and quit being so darn difficult!

Yesterday.. it was uneventful to say the least. I had my heart set on visiting Fond Du Lac county, but unfortunately, I caught a headache and I really wasn't in the mood to drive. I passed myself two advils and took a nap right there on the sofa. Thinking about it now.. yeah. Screw it. I'm going to bed, besides.. the kids are out of school and I promised them pancakes.