Persons

I've noticed this a lot lately, being the profile browser I am. Actually, I sit and usually people will come around that look interesting, or I'd go through my inventory to clean out friend cards of people that are no longer on my list of 'people' to talk to.

One common thing I've always noticed, is this following message.

"There's a real person behind the screen, a person with feelings," blah.. blah.. blah.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't care about the person behind the screen, because I /really/ do, its just the fact of how it appeared there, why they put it there, and how the other people who burn others don't care about shit.

Now, this is from personal experiences.

With my most recent ex, I've realized two things. One, he didn't give a shit of what I thought or how I felt in general, mostly because of how that long relationship turned out. He was a chronic IM fucker, the guys who get ass in IM's while smiling and hugging on their partners. That type of person. If he cared about how I initially felt about it? He wouldn't have done it. Right? Right. Also, the way things, at least I thought, were hoping to go into the real, which didn't. In fact, I realized then that he never had any intentions of doing so, because, he didn't care about the person behind the avatar. He only cared about how I felt about him when the entire 'relationship' ended. That's it.

I'll admit one thing though, that person changed me, whether it be for the better or the worse, but I'm a bit wiser on that front now because of it.

Chicks are like that too. Don't get me wrong. I know a person who uses, uses, uses, and drops off when something else good comes around. They call it change? I call it something else. In the end, do they care about the person behind the avatar? Nope.

Seeing those words bring some sort of false hope, that there -are- people out there who really care, and in truth, there really is. But in that little circle that most hang around in, there's that ONE person who doesn't give a shit about what you do in the real, how you do it, when you do it, whatever. And sometimes, that one person is probably the person whom the other is devoted to.

So yeah, real person behind the avatar? Sorry to say, some people aren't going to give a shit about you even though you post that into your profile. They MAY seem like your friends? But pfeh, watch carefully.

*puts on her hard-hat*

I'm so prepared to get slammed for this post, but I call it like I see it. ^^ Happy SL fun time!

Sinclaire Juliesse

I randomly met this lady tonight through Sakito, and even though I barely know the two, I'm considering them to be my lucky charms. I got three A lucky chairs in a row, for some good gorram hair from Goldie Locks! Anyways, it all happened after she gave me a poem. But this one below is what she wrote herself:


the sun, and his rival moon

do you want me my lover
that i should give you my hand
and we should make love, rival moon
your white skin, soft for fingers
mine, my body, to commit
and you to take, and rekindle

do you want me my lover
that i should give you my hand
and we should minister to faith
but not the faith of ministers
damn the books, put me upon them
enthralled, i learn god that way

do you want me my lover
that i should give you my hand
and trust that passion wanes not
for my heart in you is true
illuminate, smoldering, as i

if, then fallen for, become


Can we say talented? Anyways, I thought it was beautiful. People don't do poem readings anymore in Second Life. Maybe someone should do something about that.

Evolution of a Style Whore

I think the past few days I went on a prim frenzy. I managed to dig through my inventory to find the pieces that I used to wear, not to mention the look that I used to have back.. well, back in /those/ darksiding days. I was such a prim whore. The biggest prim whore that I've ever met.

I used to wear these boots that were like, close to 200 prims, they came from a place called Digital Dragon. If I remember correctly, anyways. And they were some kick ass boots, mind you. One foot WAS literally 190 some odd prims. Then the attachments, because I wore those boots with an outfit I got from Bare Rose, so chances are, including hair, I was probably rocking out with 300 prims at the least.

So this morning I log in, after checking Fred's blog, I saw on his little listy thingy that he's having a 150 sale on hats at Daini Ken.

.....

Shame on you Fred.


Anya went and spent her last monies on a kick ass hat. >.>

Thus, my prim whoring starts, yet again. (Look at the picture above!)

Anyways, anyone who knows me knows that I can't resist a good sale. I'm very, very cheap, and if I do buy something expensive, chances are, It would either be on hair... and.. well hair.

As for the look above, I found that outfit at Bare Rose, and I've been wanting to do that cowgirl look for a while. With the sculpty jacket, and that thing flows NICELY, as well as the shoulders and the collars, I figured.. "You know what, this is a cool ass outfit." I even bought hair yesterday from Deviant Kitties to go well with the look I was trying to recreate and mesh.

The hat was an added bonus. That and my overdrive belt, which I'll never part from, ever.

So all in all, I pretty much have this.. goth cowgirl gun slinger ghetto grunge bitch look.

I think if I were to go in order in listing what styles I had, from noob on up, it would be something like this.

1. Noob.
2. Sorta noob.
3. You're starting to look like cat-woman.
4. Cat woman.
5. Gothic Superhero (I wore a cape, yeah yeah.)
6. Kajira. (I was into Gor, okay?!)
7. Gunslinger.
8. White trash.
9. White cleanly trash.
10. Normal.
11. Somewhat normal, a bit daring.
12. Slut.
13. Sophisticated Slut.
14. Punk.
15. Punk rocker!
16. Goth punk!
17. Goth grunge punk!
18. Goth grunge lolita punk!
19. Fuck you bitch! I got spikes!
20. Emo.
21. Emo, goth, grunge, punk, lolita, hot damn I look good and I got tats!
22. I got tats, and I look good.
23. Damn, I'm just hot.
24. Uber hot!
25. Hello Zombie!
26. goth cowgirl gun slinger ghetto grunge bitch

So yeah, I don't think I evolved that much, but the prim count steadily increases.. talk about being narcisstic.. I'm usually talking about other people and not myself >.>

Inspiration

I recently realized that I actually had a little stint of inspiration come over me. Funny how a conversation with a group of friends could change that.

I'm not saying that they kill all inspiration, but they're pretty much funnier and enjoyable than me spending all day in photoshop. *coughs*

So when I get bouts of inspiration, Imma just stay away from those bastards, and go all emo. And reject a good time. Cuz like, they suck the inspiration out of me.. because it like.. goes into roleplaying.


Betches.

Faith

I think that I'm at that point in this silly little game that were I'm starting to lose faith in a lot of people. Its not that they've done something wrong to me, but it's how they basically treat others.

Let's take for instance, there's this woman I've randomly known through another person. I'm keeping them nameless, just because. And I've actually witness what this one woman said to the other woman, who.. are both adults, in fact, they're older than me.

They had a falling out finally, and the other woman, who shall still.. remain nameless, managed to fill her entire profile with slandering words about HERSELF that the other WOMAN said. It was like a shrine! A complete shrine! Not that I'm the best person in the world, I just had to give her a piece of my mind. Then she put down..

'formless, shapeless like water', yeah I don't get it..

How the fuck can you not get 'formeless, shapeless like water? It.. pretty much says it all. Be formless. Meaning, lacking any form. Shapeless. Meaning, having no shape. Like water. Water has no shape. Its liquid, it constantly moves. You pour water into a cup, it takes the shape of a cup. You put your hand in water, it forms around your hand! Dumb. Ass.

Anyways, she dwindled her profile down over the ages, and I'm ashamed that I'm /that/ bored enough that I still manage to check.

I recently lost a friend, well someone who I had thought was a friend. He apologized and everything, but for a moment there, there was this.. brief flare of anger. I remember thinking, I've been nothing nice to you, and I get treated like this. Maybe it was tempers flaring or what not, but I remember all of this actually starting over an idle comment about a car. Some people just can't let things go. If you hold onto that anger, its who you become. So me being angry about losing that friend? Gone.

There's another friend I'm considering dropping, mostly for my own reasons instead of others. I'm finding that every time they're mentioned I'm becoming annoyed, not because of them period, its because of what I heard of them do. Maybe I should have hung around them more often? I don't know. But they were never this way, and I'm sorry to say, its getting really ugly. I find out that I have to actually look a different way just to be myself, which winds up changing every few months. Which is another key in the notch.

Maybe I'm just an angry person, looking for a reason to get rid of some of the people I know. I don't know, but I know I'm starting to not care anymore, or give a damn what certain people think. Maybe I'm hardening myself to deal with whatever it is just to hang with my folks.

Though, there are a few people that I actually do miss. I miss them with my whole being, and I hope they are well. I don't think I'll ever find anyone like those three ever, and they deserve to be cherished.

Well, I have time..

I have time for one post at least.

I went to the DMV the other day to actually renew my I.D card (yeah yeah, I drive without a liscence, which is being corrected.. eventually)

Anyways, as I sat there for the entire two hours waiting on one little picture, I notice that people actually flock to that certain social group at the DMV just as they do in Second Life.

Like alright, you have this really, really cute couple. They're so sweet on each other, when they talk they barely pay attention to anyone else. Its like, no one else is in the room but them. (They even miss the number being called.)
-I wish I could say that this is in second life as well, when really, it is, but sometimes those couples turn out to be not so cute.

Then there's the group of veterans who pretty much haunt the DMV on a daily basis. They know the ins and outs, and its easy for them to strike up a random conversation with people out of the fly.

Case in point, I happened to sit down next to this old lady, who proceeded to explain to me about the lines and why they go so slow, and what they do behind the glass. While it was highly educational, I preferred to be alone. She was nice though..
-However, in SL.. there are some people like this, who just follow you around and stare at you and talk to you when you wanted to log out in the first place..

Then there's the, get it, get in, get out fast type of people. Their words to each other are as follows. "Yeah." "Uh huh." "Hate this shit." "Fucking number!" However, soon as their number is called, they speed to the window like Flash.
-In Second life? These people are barely seen. I'm in this category myself. You teleport into a sim, and as soon as someone notices you *poof* Gone.

Now, in the DMV, the wrong type of social class you can be in is the sweet hearts. The ones who feel sorry for those doubled over old women, and those men who can't stop shaking because of years of cigarette smoke and hard labor damaged their nerves. Those sweethearts, they aww and coo at the old people, and instead of keeping their number.. they give it up to those old poor decrepid people, with the thoughts that they've done something worthwhile. NOT! ITS A SCAM PEOPLE! I'VE SEEN SWEETHEARTS FOLD FASTER THAN SUPERMAN ON LAUNDRY DAY, AND THOSE OLD PEOPLE BECOME THE FLASH GORDONS OF THE DMV. DO NOT BE FOOLED! THEY'RE OLDER AND WISER THAN YOU! THEY KNOW THE SYSTEM!
-In second life, these type of people can be classified as Veterans, maybe even griefers. Chances are, griefers who are in second life know two languages, and only use their griefer alt to cause shit.
-However.. the sweethearts in second life are the ones who are willing to pay 100k lindens for naked pictures of an avi that looks like Michael Jackson who has a small head. No refunds? :P

Alright, dentist time! Lets hope for drugs!

Finally!

Okay, this has nothing to do with Second Life (tm), but I am glad to say that I am finally going to the dentist.

I may not get my tooth pulled, but goddamn it, I can get some decent medicine to treat the headaches that are caused by it. I think I cracked my tooth when I was eating a fillet (mm, expensive meat), or something or other, I forgot.

It hasn't bothered me in a while, so I figure, why not do other appointments, I can handle my teeth later! So, after a doc's visit.. the pain started to set >.<

You're talking about a serious attitude problem I was sporting. (See post below)

Not to mention, every time I went to sleep, I woke up with the feeling as if I were being kicked in the head and suffocated at the same time.

I hope I get good drugs today ;-;