Faith

I think that I'm at that point in this silly little game that were I'm starting to lose faith in a lot of people. Its not that they've done something wrong to me, but it's how they basically treat others.

Let's take for instance, there's this woman I've randomly known through another person. I'm keeping them nameless, just because. And I've actually witness what this one woman said to the other woman, who.. are both adults, in fact, they're older than me.

They had a falling out finally, and the other woman, who shall still.. remain nameless, managed to fill her entire profile with slandering words about HERSELF that the other WOMAN said. It was like a shrine! A complete shrine! Not that I'm the best person in the world, I just had to give her a piece of my mind. Then she put down..

'formless, shapeless like water', yeah I don't get it..

How the fuck can you not get 'formeless, shapeless like water? It.. pretty much says it all. Be formless. Meaning, lacking any form. Shapeless. Meaning, having no shape. Like water. Water has no shape. Its liquid, it constantly moves. You pour water into a cup, it takes the shape of a cup. You put your hand in water, it forms around your hand! Dumb. Ass.

Anyways, she dwindled her profile down over the ages, and I'm ashamed that I'm /that/ bored enough that I still manage to check.

I recently lost a friend, well someone who I had thought was a friend. He apologized and everything, but for a moment there, there was this.. brief flare of anger. I remember thinking, I've been nothing nice to you, and I get treated like this. Maybe it was tempers flaring or what not, but I remember all of this actually starting over an idle comment about a car. Some people just can't let things go. If you hold onto that anger, its who you become. So me being angry about losing that friend? Gone.

There's another friend I'm considering dropping, mostly for my own reasons instead of others. I'm finding that every time they're mentioned I'm becoming annoyed, not because of them period, its because of what I heard of them do. Maybe I should have hung around them more often? I don't know. But they were never this way, and I'm sorry to say, its getting really ugly. I find out that I have to actually look a different way just to be myself, which winds up changing every few months. Which is another key in the notch.

Maybe I'm just an angry person, looking for a reason to get rid of some of the people I know. I don't know, but I know I'm starting to not care anymore, or give a damn what certain people think. Maybe I'm hardening myself to deal with whatever it is just to hang with my folks.

Though, there are a few people that I actually do miss. I miss them with my whole being, and I hope they are well. I don't think I'll ever find anyone like those three ever, and they deserve to be cherished.