Getting Laid and Getting Paid: A tribute

Whether you're a new person joining upon Second Life (tm), or an random figure browsing those single words and all accustomed to it, and decided.. 'Hey, let me join this fun game, its free!', you will be introduced to.. *drumrolls*

*and rolling*
*and rolling*

.. SEX. *hushed gasps and whispers*

What? Don't believe me? As soon as you log into that place, get a nice lil' friend to get you situated and looking fashionably trendy, the last place they'll take you to is XCITE. Wanna know what that is? They sell talking snatches and meat rods to spam your screen with supposedly delicious messages on how you feel and how you just had an orgasm because your partner clicked a thousand times. But I digress. Sex. It's there, and there's a lot of it.


Working class women! This is my ode to you!

-Whether you're pencil thin, you just can't seem to get away from all the men who want to smex up your avatar. But no worries, lady, you need to walk like a superstar and the only way you can do that is to lay the next prospective gent who whispers 'Hey Baby' into your IMs!

-You think that just because you have the small hips and the big boobs, everyone wants your pixels. You'd go so far to saying outloud how long you sucked your husbands dick last night, or spent five amazing hours playing hide the XCite cock into various orafices that you couldn't imagine doing in real life! Guys hear you! Guys get turned on! Hey! Get a job of it! They like that stuff!

-You just happened to spruce up your pixels, a Big Mac Meal gone right. You got the swagger and the locks that'll make all the people out there turn their heads and beg on where you got such a slutty avatar. You even photoshopped up your picture so that you can get more clicks and requests for sex, good on you mate! You scored five hundred lindens by writing elaborate descriptions on how you teabagged yourself on a prim peen!

So here's to you, Second Life milk maiding, dick nippled having, prim cock packing and jacking, tentacle loving escort! Keep making that money! Lord knows you couldn't find a better way to support your hair and shoe habit!


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